Book Description:
What should you serve at an orgy? Where should you shop for your son's first party dress? Who should say thank you after simultaneous orgasm? How can a girl re member the names of her lovers and what should she do when she forgets? <P>In 21 chapters, Doing It Or How to Give the Perfect Orgy by Lorelei Levy satirizes the American way of sex. <P>Doing It opens with 'Whirl of the Worldly Girl,' a look at a typical day in the life of Darlene Davis, a reader of the fictional Worldly magazine. She follows slavishly the publication's recommendations for food, clothing and shelter as well as sexual behavior (almost anything) and frequency (lots), all with an eye to snaring Mr. Right a.k.a. Mr. Megabucks. <P>The next chapter of Doing It, 'The Sensuous Moppet,' appears to be advice for the very young, but actually mocks do it yourself books written for adult women. Sections include: Why sex is better than mud pies, learning to be sensuous, packaging the sex object, what clothes entice your boy, what to talk about and when to giggle. <P>'The Frisky Aged Man,' written in the style of medical histories, invents two problems confronting older men: sexual apathy and sexual hyperventilation, all illustrated with three case histories supposedly taken from the files of a nursing home. What follows is advice for helping older men to avoid unwanted sex. <P>'Doing It By the Book' which makes fun of the sterile language of sex manuals illustrates this point with a bedroom scene between a newlywed couple, the wife using book terms and the husband resorting to street talk. <P>'I Didn't Read the Book, But I Saw the Movie' shows that youngsters expect sex to be as it is in films. Of course, most movies are directed by men and thus show women in the throes of passion but never men. In a skit, 'Bel Air Story,' a young virgin is surprised to learn that men not only come to climax, too, but sometimes get there first. <P>'The Status Girl Friend' reveals that today's sexually liberated women have mastered so many gambits that they may skip the missionary position altogether. <P>In 'Manual for Man Watchers,' Cynthia Coleman tells her friend Judi Wohlberg how to size up a man s prowess as a lover just by looking at him. <P>'Scouting the Location,' done in the style of a Consumers Union report, points out 'Where you go affects how you come.' Topics covered include Indoor Surfaces, Location Sex (pine forest flooring is rated as a Best Buy), Exotic Surfaces. <P>'The First Nights Nobody Writes About' contrasts the idealized first nights of romantic fiction with the grittier reality by describing the same maneuvers in both styles. <P>'Fun Is a Three letter Word' traces the history of sex from Victorian times when it was hard to have both sex and pride to a future where sexual performance becomes a competition sport (the piece ends with a mock newspaper account of one such tournament). <P>'I'd Rather Cheat than Switch' lists the advantages of swinging over garden variety infidelity, illustrated with anecdotes showing extramarital sex before and after swinging. <P>'How to Give the Perfect Orgy' gives 20 pointers on planning a well run orgy as they might appear in a woman's magazine, beginning with 1. Invite guests well in advance. 2. Ask your guests to RSVP and to enclose a report on each person's HIV status. <P>In 'The Single Girl's Sexual Guide' advises the female reader in many ways. The first two tips are: 1. Always call them honey (this avoids calling boy friends the wrong name at intimate moments). 2. Don't make love on an empty stomach (growling is unromantic). <P>'How to Have the Perfect Orgasm' the second chapter in this section, concerns deluxe orgasms and how to have them. <P> 'She'll Talk to Anyone' points out to what extent women have become sexually liberated by having Carl boast to Dave, 'With this girl, I'm the one to fall asleep first.' <P>'When Quick frozen Sperm Meets Pyrex Vagina' gives a quick overview of in vitro fertilization, followed by sample recipes from a procreative cookbook of the future. <P>'A Word of Advice' deals with a series of sexual problems (Where should I buy my son's first party dress? Who should say thank you after mutual orgasm?) as they might be solved by various advice columnists.<P>'The Joy of Fucking' focuses on food as it relates to sex. Recipes fall into four categories: Icebreakers for getting people relaxed enough even to think about making love: Hidden Persuaders to close the deal; Aphrodisiacs to use when the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak; Lily Gildings to make oral sex more deli cious than usual. <P>'The Year Prostitution Went Public' tells what happens when the Screw U Guest Ranch, Male Guests Only (a legal bordello), goes first corporate and then public. <P>'M is for the Million Joys She Gave You' airs a topic usually kept under the covers: How parents can make incest educational for their children. <P>'Bestiality for Beginners (Black Beauty Revisited)' shows how this hush hush subject might be handled in the future by Adolescent magazine's advice columnist.
|
